rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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