youre lurking in front of me
Someone shit on the floor
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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