I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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