I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize