New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize