wanna go halves on a baby?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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