Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize