Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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