I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
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Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize