how can u be prego again
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize