A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize