I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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