so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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