I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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