Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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