I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize