I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you would pick up someone in the library
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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