i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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