he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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