Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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