I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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