I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How's work?
Spinning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize