eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize