I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We are two peas in an std pod
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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