Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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