The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize