Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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