I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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