love makes seman taste better
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize