Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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