im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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