If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
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Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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