I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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