it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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