the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize