So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize