I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize