somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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