i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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