how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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