I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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