She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
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Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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