I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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