Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize