she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize