so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
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I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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