He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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