I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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