still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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