Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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